Serve or be served

My colleague and I were having a chat over cup of tea at our office canteen with my boss. This topic of “to serve or be served” pop-up and as we grow wiser in age, I agree but our younger generation might just brushed it off “ Fat hope” or “siong leh”

Malay girls are taught by their mothers from a very young age to be submissive to the man. By the act of serving it does not mean, she is taken for granted as a servant or treated as one (According to the malay man, since they are allowed many wives, so mother’s girl fear that she will lose her son-in-law to another woman). Most girls are married before they reached 30 years of age. My female colleague will “salam” her husband’s hand when he drops her off. If not, they will “salam” before she leaves their home. Even if they marry a “lousy” husband, they accept fate has dealt them a cruel hand. To leave is a shame.

 For a chinese girl, seldom do we hear mothers teaching their children to be “obedient” or submissivie to their husband. It will just have to come naturally? In fact sometimes, when the man takes so long to carry out one task, we beh tahan, quickly push him aside, “I do, I do”. Remember when we take the marriage vows, we nod our heads and say “I do, I do”?. Ah ha!. And we have been doing that since. Speaking for the men, my boss advice to the younger generation of girls,“don’t try to do everything and left the poor husband nothing to do. Woman loves to take charge – from kids to studies to home and now even at work. Man still remains like man. Some are just plain lazy and sometimes need the push. So if you love them to distraction, they will be easier to – go pay the bills, carry the garbage, follow you shopping for hours even if you buy nothing, yum char with you at Fatty Poh’s kopi tiam but don’t forget give each other some space. He for his football you go joined your yoga classes.

About moviemania

Mission work in Kuching, Sarawak & Climbed Bako National Park, seen the largest proboscis Climbed the Great Wall of China & serenaded by Ku Nian along Yangtze River Sailed the River Nile Walked in the footsteps of Jesus, crossed River Jordan into Israel, the Holy Lands Mission work in Talugtug, Philippines Mission work in Toowoomba, Queensland Mission work in Kalaymyo, Myanmar
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15 Responses to Serve or be served

  1. Judy Leese says:

    Julie, you are right that Chinese parents teach their daughters to submit. In fact, I am a lousy wife when it comes to submission. I don’t say, “I do, I do”…my usual phrase is “You had better do” and later when the job is being done, “Why so slow? Quickly do.” I think biblically, submission is not a matter of serving the husband or “Yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir”. It is more of a respect for him and the husband to love his wife. I better go check with my husband. :)))

  2. wonda says:

    When one has an “esok, lusa” husband but never gets it done, what to do? One old Chinese advice I heard – Before marry, open both eyes, after married, close one eye.

  3. Judy Leese says:

    Alice, esok, lusa….what does that mean?
    Before marry, open both eyes, blah2….is for the man or woman and what does the meaning again?

  4. wonda says:

    Aiya, where is that Julie? Ah… forgot, forgot… ah yes, she went to buy turkey, so not around. Ok, Judy, I answer your question. Esok, lusa means tomorrow, day after tomorrow- the type of person who postpones and never gets things done. My husband is an “atode” man (atode in Japanese means “afterward”), same like esok lusa.
    The old advice applies to both sex. Open both eyes means to look carefully, to choose wisely before marrying. After married, close one eye means to overlook one’s flaws. So, as for me, I have to do some things myself instead of waiting for my husband to do. What to do?

  5. Firehorse says:

    Drop by quickly just to wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, will drop by later to catch up with your post.

  6. ilene ong says:

    Hi Julie,

    You are so right. My “low kong” takes a long time to do a simple chore until I tak boleh tahan, end up I do it myself! Please allow me to drop a short note to Alice. Alice, after kawhwin, not only close one eye but must also close one ear! he…he…he…

    Julie, wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed 2007.

  7. wonda says:

    Still eating your turkey,ah? Leave some for us lah! One more thing to add to Ilene, if close one ear, still can hear. How about “in one ear and out the other ear”?

  8. yee, julie says:

    Hi All, wah, you all having a free time at my blog. Great exchange of phrases. Somebody wants to publish a siow book better have this one. -Chit pen lip, chit pen chut ( same as in one ear. out the other) Still the same – semua cannot “tan”.
    See, I am just testing your patience, all cannot tahan. Still “I do, I do” – I got no chance to reply liow. Thanks all for yum char at my blog while I balik kampung(grandma’s place at Tg. Sepat). took my kids, grandkids and mum.Its a fishing village, and then picnic at Morib beach. Try to fill you all at my blog later. Got to visit my old friend Emmarose for belated Christmas…….so busy!!!!

  9. Judy Leese says:

    Wah, Julie, you grandma liow ah? You look so young wor. Also hor, you told me once that your husband is only like 25? :))
    Tell me your secret lei… to look so young and be a grandma? Maybe your husband doesn’t make you wait when it comes to house chores so no ‘kee see lang’ and you no need to say ‘I do, I do’ after saying it only once at your marriage vows. 🙂

  10. Firehorse says:

    Happy 2007!!! Hope you had a good celebration.

  11. ilene ong says:

    2007 liow! No new posting lei? Busy eating the durians that you’ve brought back from Tg Sepat kah? Send some over lah. I’ll help you finish the rest of the durians while you go to work on your blog. Deal?

  12. wonda says:


  13. moviemania says:

    Sorry ladies!!!! Thousand apologies……got strike by earthquake from Taiwan. at home, the speed is slower than the tortoise, cannot load any picture.At my office, whole cable line got stolen for the 5th time, Now only telekom woke up n decided to do underground cable..haiyah. At press time, problem still pending. I more cham than you. Whole office shut out from civilisation – no contact except thro mobile.

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